Last night, the Federalist Society on campus hosted a "debate" on the political foundations of the Constitution, featuring a vice-president of the Cato Institute who espoused the libertarian philosophy.

Now, I happen to dislike "Libertarians." Quite a bit actually. I find them to be selfish, lacking in compassion, and extremely short-sighted. Mr. VP didn't let me down. He went on for a good 30 minutes of wingnutty goodness, spouting off about how the founding fathers believed in liberty for all (except slaves, non-property owners, and women, of course) and extreme, unlimited property rights (unless of course the property belonged to Native Americans). Even the conservative view of the early years of America makes more sense. My property law professor, representing the liberal side, eviscerated this loon with the ease. I wish I had it on tape. It was truly awesome to behold.

Then came the time to ask questions, so you know I had to open my big mouth. You see, during the course of this debate, my professor brought up child labor. And this wingnut fruit loop actually had the nerve to say that the parents of these laborers, rather than the corporations that exploited them, were to blame for the situation. So my question noted that libertarians have a fundamental disconnect between what compels ordinary people, and that if we did things his way, the only people with freedom would be those with money (for instance, you wouldn't think unrestrained free markets were so great if you had to pay $1000 a gallon for water), and could he please comment on that.

Well, Mr. Ivory Tower got all defensive from the get-go. He didn't answer the question, and eventually called me a "parasite" because I got a Pell Grant to go to school. By doing so, he also insulted 99% of the other students at the law school who use federal aid/loans to pay tuition and living expenses. He then pulled out the favorite wingnut canard about how he was a self-made man and worked his way through college by driving a taxi (doubtless with Tom Friedman as one of his passengers), and I basically told him he was full of shit (in slightly more polite terms). It got pretty heated for a bit, especially after some wingnut asshole student* kept interrupting. I admit that I lost my temper after being called a "parasite." But he wasn't any better. Still, I'm kicking myself a little because if I hadn't been so nervous and didn't let him get my goat, I could've buried him.

Seriously, though. What a fucking douche.

So what I learned last night is that libertarianism is pro-child labor, pro-Wal Mart, anti-abortion, pro-sodomy, anti-New Deal, pro-unrestrained corporate power, anti-welfare, and anti-student aid. Sounds like a winning platform to me! Why can't these guys win any elections?

* This guy has got to be the most annoying asshole on the planet. Right in the middle of my professor's rebuttal, his cell phone goes off. Instead of quickly and quietly turning it off, he stands up and yells, "Fuck!" right in the middle of the debate. What is wrong with these people?